Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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