I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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