I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
