Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
