He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
