I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm both gender and math confused
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
