My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
