4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
