Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
