hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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