i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
