I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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