He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
