i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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