It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
