you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
