i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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