Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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