carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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