i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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