Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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