just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
