but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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