I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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