Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
