I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
