so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
