I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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