dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
