PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
