Umm I'm too high to move.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
