Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
