Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
