jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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