is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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