No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
