This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
