I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
