I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
