is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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