i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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