who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
