Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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