why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
