In the future we'll all be gay
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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