I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
