Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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