Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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