god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
