Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
we made out on top of his cat.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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