I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
