well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
